Oh Look, a First Post Post

Well, this is awkward. I was thinking starting this new blog would be easy. After all, I have shit to say, fingers to type, people yet to offend. But it's kind of like an uncomfortable blind date. You know, the part where the other person hasn't arrived and you could still totally make a break for it, but you don't because the waiter just brought out the basket of chips? Anything for a basket of chips ... 

You may know me as Asshole-Alter-Ego-Sarah from Badder Homes and Gardens, or an anonymous professional decor blogger somewhere I won't mention (lest they read Badder Homes and Gardens and immediately fire me), or the faceless writer-minion behind some ad you saw and hated. But this is the first time I've tried writing as "real" Sarah. So, hi. 

About me: I'm 35. And single. That's right. Old and single and pretty happy. Fuck the police. I like to cook, bake, preserve and, just to throw a wrench in that 50s housewife thing, I make furniture and rewire shit. Ok, one time I rewired one thing, but it was really impressive. I have a big, yellow dog named Thora, who howls for five minutes every time I leave the house. I have a niece and nephew, pictures of whom I force my friends to admire. I like to not have specific plans. My favorite pass-time, aside from plotting revenge, is watching shitty movies. It would be watching TV, but I consider that more "purpose of life" than "pass-time." I think Star Trek kicks Star Wars' ass. Just now, I didn't click "like" on something really funny because someone I hate already "liked" it and I didn't want our names to be near each other. So, now you know.

While I was toying with the idea of starting this blog, I read something about writing the perfect first post. It had a diagram. I disapproved. But the gist was that your post should have a purpose. Good call. So, my purpose here? I just wanted to say, "hi," let you know that I'll be blogging here for awhile. Not sure exactly what I'll talk about, or how often I'll post, but there will be recipes, reviews, rants and maybe the occasional rave. Talk to you later, and thanks for reading. 

-Sarah